The boy who murdered love
by Puttefujs
Summary: He's known for being the most heartless person you'd ever be to meet. He's not someone you pick a fight with, argue with or approach at all. Don't seek his attention. Don't mention him. Just run away while you can, because he will devour you if given the chance. It's going to hurt, and your heart will ache. After all, he's the boy who murdered love. Highschool AU.
1. Predator

This is a high-school AU.

It is to be mentioned that Levi is taller than Eren in this fiction, because I say so – and in my fiction it is law.

Levi; 187 cm. (Upperclassman)  
Eren; 174 cm.

It changes between present time and past time a few couple of times throughout the story. Please do tell me if it ever confuses you.

This story is rated Mature, if not Explicit for a reason and contains intimate scenes and occasionally violence. (Smut later on).

Hope you enjoy, darling.

* * *

His fingers are callous. Slowly and teasingly, but securely they run along the edge of the table and brushes my thumb on the way and the protruding bone close to my wrist. ''Where are you stalking off to?'' he asks, and it's not just a question, but a silent demand of information. I attempt to look somewhere else, just anywhere – but fail at my worst. He captures me when I least expect it – when I think I'm out of range. He catches my eyes easily despite my miserable attempt to avoid so, and he lowers himself to squat down so that both of his arms and his chin lingers on the table I'm sitting at. I avoid his persistent glare and turn around on my chair so that I can face my backpack on the floor, bowing down to pack the content after yet another eventful day in school. ''Just home,'' I murmur, and now he raises himself slowly, eyes never off me – just like a predator, while he takes a step around the table and then forward, towering above me. ''We have some shit we didn't finish,'' he notes, voice casual and brilliant regarding monotony as ever.

He drags me into one of the empty classrooms in one of the older buildings of the school, shutting the door promptly as soon as I've taken the first step in. ''Remember now, huh?'' He spares a somewhat cunning laugh. I secretly savor the vibrating of his deep voice travelling inside the empty classroom. ''Armin and Mikasa are waiting for me,'' I try – fidgeting with another excuse, even though I know my heart is thrumming inside my chest for his touch, his voice and his whole being. He's got me captured. He has my heart in a leash.

''What a fucking tease,'' he blows out a heavy sigh through his nose, agitatedly furrowing his brows – showing at least one sort of emotion. He doesn't even bother to say goodbye when he turns around on his heels, stalking off as he leaves the room by shutting the door with a loud rumble. He doesn't want to fight for it. I suppose I'm not worth it, after all. He knows I'll come back begging. I've gone through a lot to as much as gain a flicker of his attention regarded toward me, but when it really counts, I run away. Because I know this is unhealthy for me, how I'm not supposed to feel like this toward someone like him. And it hurts.

He's not just anyone. He's unique and uncommon, but he's also known for being the most heartless person you'd ever be to meet. Colorless, emotionless and intimidating. He's intelligent, flexible and strong. He's not someone you pick a fight with, argue with or approach at all.

Don't seek his attention. Don't mention him. Just run away while you can, because he will devour you if given the chance.

But I was lost in the abyss the moment I stepped inside the grounds and fields of the school for the first time. One of the better schools – the one where the rich kids attends, where the intelligent and ambitious students search further knowledge. Being poor and all, it was a surprise I even made it so far. I couldn't have done it without Mikasa and Armin's help. Back then I was nervous, walking along the walls in order not to interfere with anything ridiculous, because that's what I usually did. Mikasa had warned me about it. It was not how you made a good start. It isn't how to make a good start. I didn't look at anyone, didn't speak to anyone since my eyes are told to look rebellious and challenging, and sometimes I start fights without bargaining for it. I just hoped not to draw the shortest stick. The usual ruckus caused is just because I look like this. The encounter with Levi back then was also because of my pouty lips, my scruffy hair, my angry eyes – and my impulsive temper. I should just have stayed away or at least looked at where I was going. One mistake turned everything upside down.

In the halls, I shifted from speaking calmly to Armin and then to ramming into a wall of stone, mustered me to nearly fall backwards and onto my bum. Someone had walked in front of me swiftly – as if they owned the place. ''Hey,'' I sneered in reflex, my mouth got ahead of my mind as it always did. I should just have stayed still, should just have backed away or walked a circle around the scene. But I didn't. And there he stood.

Levi.

I looked up to see two coal black eyes stare me down – the mocking scrutiny awfully obvious. I don't know whether I was scared or angry, or a mix between it, but I reacted as I used to.

I got aggressive.

But nothing really happened, actually. I barked some sulking words at the intimidating upper-class man in order not to hurt my pride – and to teach him a lesson, but only got an even more empty stare back the more I continued. I was nervous, I now remember. The first day in a new school, ending up with me bellowing fury and confusion. I was ashamed the moment the words left my lips, because I had promised Mikasa and Armin to behave well. I despise the way I reacted, even if it was a better way of me to handle the situation than what it could've turned into if it had occurred one year ago. When I was done, Levi simply clicked his tongue and gave a harrumph in blatant annoyance, neutrally saying; ''Fucking kids…,'' under his breath before promptly shutting his locker-room as he stalked off with some other students at his age.

I think what nagged me the most was the silent treatment he gave me. The way he could make me feel like the most filthy smudge of dirt in the world simply by bestowing me a sharp glance. I didn't even know him back then, but I could already feel a somewhat icy thrill from the encounter. It was agitating, but I couldn't do anything, because I was shoved away with a simple back turned against me – how Levi stalked off without regarding me whatsoever. It was almost too easy for him. But I didn't and still don't have anything to say about it, because I was easy, and I still am. For him, that is, and it's annoying.

What was more the merrier was that when I entered the class I was supposed to attend; the first thing I noticed was the icy feeling shriveling down my spine. I only had to look a little around to find the mysterious upper-class man sitting in one of the corners of the classroom, shamelessly staring me down. I felt anger bubble inside me from just a single look – a simple little thing. Armin poked me in the side and asked if I was okay. I couldn't do anything but to bite out a sullen yes, and we sat down – the farthest away from that boy. Armin and I shared the same lesson, so Mikasa was in another classroom for the time being then. In the break, we met up in the cafeteria and found a place. Mikasa, sharp as ever, quickly took notice of my downing mood.

But that didn't matter, because something else happened; some small, bald guy came over to our table and sat down while whistling, followed by a ''Wow.'' He was answered with six eyes glaring him down in confusion. Apparently, it was about my encounter in the hallway. You know, with that guy. Connie, the small guy, expressed how amazed he was that I dared to snarl back at Levi. It was more of a sullen stray dog attempting to snap at a superior Doberman, I wanted to say. It kind of went like a cliché high school movie; the 'wow, you're so brave you dared bla bla bla…., how come he didn't bite your head off? You're so not on his level' thing. It was horrendous, but at least I got a friend from that. What I had to endure.

* * *

I decided that I hated Levi the more I got to know about him. High grades, good-looking, seemingly popular with the girls – even though he was an ice cold asshole. That was just fucking stupid and didn't make sense at all. But that was how it was, and it was only the first day of school. I had managed nothing but to make a new rival, well, and some new friends. It was okay so far, I thought.

The new school was strict and somewhat tough. I had to wear an uniform every day when attending. But my grades got steeper – I thank Mikasa and Armin once more, and I meddled with different people in the various lessons during the days. It was great.

But such words always come bite you in the ass sooner or later, right?

* * *

I noticed Levi. I always did. It haunted me how much I was aware of his presence. If he as much as breathed the same air as me, I constantly just knew, and I couldn't take my eyes off him whenever I spotted him somewhere. He always sat outside with some certain people every break or lunchtime, and I would subconsciously find a spot in the cafeteria where I could keep an eye on him through a window. I didn't know why I did it, I just did.

I was surprised when I noticed how my anger had seeped away. For some time, I didn't feel anything about him at all, despite that I still had to keep an eye on him, for whatever reason. He didn't do anything bad as the rumors had pinned him up to do. He sometimes smoked in the bathrooms with the excuse of having a need to release the content in his bladder – I would know, because when he came in again I smell the waft of smoke clearly. He wore the same expression on his face every day, even when he was with his friends. Sometimes the corners of his mouth held a brief smile, sometimes a frown, but nothing more. He always had a handkerchief with him in his back pocket, wiping every chair he had to sit on. He was never late and only answered questions in class when no one else could answer. He always looked like life was a drag, as if he was constantly bored. He's still completely like this.

What interested me more, though, was when I got to know about his love life, which pretty much constantly changed. From a week to another he would change girlfriend, and judging by the rumors, it just happened. It was as if the girls didn't even know what was going on, and Levi said nothing. Nobody knew anything, and the ones forfeiting the relationship with him didn't know what to say either, or knew what happened. I didn't know much else about him, because I avoided him as much as possible, and always kept a safe distance. I didn't mingle with people who spent time with Levi, and Levi stayed out of the spotlight as much as possible, too, even though he was commonly spoken about.

* * *

One of the stranger days was when I entered the cafeteria hall to see a big circle of people molded around something, or someone. I was lucky enough to squeeze through and get a closer view of the commotion that was occurring.

Levi was standing in the gap of the circle, calm as ever, with his arms relaxing against his sides. Nothing seemed unusual, despite the furious teenager standing a few feet in front of him. The teenager was sputtering angry words and showed off all signs of strong fury; chest pushed forward, teeth grinding, eyes small and squinted, fists raised and legs spread in a position meant for combat. The other teenager was not taller than Levi, but visibly more muscular. The teenager yelled something about Levi being an insolent prick, though in a more filthy way, shouting; fag, asshole, bitch and such common words. Levi didn't bat an eye, and said that if the teenager didn't have anything relevant to say, he should shut his 'filthy well of a shitgape'. That was the trigger for the teenager to launch a sudden attack, his actions taken in blind fury.

What was more surprising though, was Levi's agility. How it looked like the fight was a dance to him, how he swiftly bent a little in his knees and tilted head to the left, dodging the first attack daintily. It continued like this shortly, the furious teenager continuing to attempt to plant punches at Levi, who barely moved from his spot. Levi only moved when he moved to the side, past and behind the teenager as the teenager was bending forward, and he deftly took two fistfuls of fabric at the boy's collar and then pulled. It was inhuman, how the heavy-looking teenager was from one moment to the next pulled into the air and then almost effortlessly flung onto one of the tables nearby. Levi didn't waste any second, and turned around and looked murderous as he walked toward the boy and took him by the collar once more, this time at the front.

I don't remember what happened after that – it was all a blur. Someone had called a teacher and the teacher broke the fight. I know that Levi was sent to the principal's office, and I was… somehow offended by that, taking into consideration how it was the other boy who took the first straw and began it. So I thought, but I didn't really know – and won't ever get to know.

Levi wasn't in school the following week, and not the next either. When he came back, everyone acted as if nothing had happened – and so did Levi. I was curious, but I didn't dare to dig further into it. That was just how it was.

* * *

Another seemingly average day during the week where Levi had returned, I was allowed to go to the bathroom during a math lesson. What I hadn't noticed though, was Levi's lack of presence in the classroom. Instead, I was met by surprise when I found him standing against one of the walls next to the bathroom stalls and a window, smoking a cigarette that rested in the curve between two of his fingers. I didn't intend to react as strongly as I did, but I couldn't help to; it was the first time I had ever been alone with him, and he didn't exactly seem to fancy the idea of sharing the whole bathroom with another student. He glanced at me through half-lidded eyes, taking another heavy inhale of his cigarette, whereas he subsequently blew out big and then smaller rings of wafting smoke. I stood still – and that was stupid. I stared back like a cornered animal and forgot all about needing to use one of the stalls. I don't know what happened, but I just couldn't move. I stopped breathing and the only noises I could hear was the throbbing of my temples and the breezy noise of whenever Levi blew out some more smoke or inhaled. ''Eren, right?'' He suggested.

He knew my name.

That was when it really began. I should've stayed in class, forgotten everything about him – just stayed away.

But I didn't, after all.

''Are you just going to stare at me or answer the fucking question?'' He said, but there was something else dwelling in the undertone of his calm voice. I fidgeted and averted his eyes, but he caught me anyway, glaring at me expectantly. His voice startled me, but I also quickly found out that I really liked the smooth, dapper tune it gave. ''Do I know you?'' I answered his question with another question, my voice trembling the slightest despite trying to sound confident. At this, Levi outright laughed, and I entranced looked at how his Adams apple bobbed up and down, almost forgetting the situation I was planted amidst. ''Do I know you?'' he repeated in mockery, letting out a silent 'tsk' under his breath.

''Don't think I haven't noticed,'' he started, and he raised himself from his sloping position against the wall, taking some slow but warning steps toward me. Each step sent out a clacking noise of shoe soles rutting against the tiled floor. ''How you stare at me all the time, huh? You're a little filthy fellow, aren't you?'' He continued, stopping right in front of me as he took a brief inhale of his cigarette. When he withdrew it, he held his breath for a while, perceiving me yet another time with those scrutinizing eyes. As I was about to yap something to my defense, he blew the load into my face slowly, and I squinted my eyes tightly in reflex. When I opened them again, we were literally standing face-to-face, nose tips close to be brushing each other. The smell of smoke was grim and dominating, filling heavily in my lungs. I whipped my head to my left and coughed once or twice, attempting not to seem somewhat affected, even though I clearly was. I looked back at him again, and he still stood close. I could feel his breath tickle my lips.

''Are you?'' He asked, and his face expression was unmoving. I wanted to say no, but I couldn't make myself say anything, so I just stood still and contributed with feeble noises I didn't know I was capable of making. I could feel my knees weakening for every second he spent looking into my eyes, as if looking straight through my whole being. Then a rare smirk showed upon his lips, and I was shortly mesmerized until I felt something clamping tightly around my chin and my cheeks, forcing me to look upwards and into his eyes instead of perceiving his lips. He held my chin with his free hand that was not holding a cigarette, fingers digging so that I knew that he could outline the shape of teeth through my cheeks. ''Can't you talk or what?'' He then prompted. He loosened his grip in order to let me speak, even though I hesitated heavily. ''I-I'm not…,'' I began, voice breaking in the end. It felt like my heart was throbbing so fast it could leap out of my chest any time given, and my throat felt eerily dry all of sudden. ''You're not what?''

''I'm n-not filthy…,'' I continued, looking downwards – just about everywhere than Levi's face. Levi's grip tightened, and I automatically clamped one of my hands around his wrist, trying to pry him off. But I knew that he was stronger. ''Then what the fuck do you think you're doing?'' He dragged me closer and upwards with a sudden motion, making it necessary for me to stand on the tips of my feet. I swallowed heavily. His hands were cold.

''Are you going to back away from something you've bargained for?''

I battered my eyelashes at him in question, caught in confusion. Before I could answer, he loosened his grip once more so that I could stand properly on my feet, though still cupping my chin and a bit of my cheeks as he mashed his lips against mine.

* * *

Kindly leave a review.

Hope you enjoyed.


	2. Heat

The ride is getting dirty - bad sexting, masturbation and a handjob is coming your way.

This is where it gets close to fulfill the explicit rating. You have been warned.

- Questions, though?

Their uniforms includes a pair of black snug pants, a white/gray-ish cardigan w/ buttons, a white shirt underneath and black shoes. Proper and fit, yes please.

And by the way, some of the classrooms have windows leading to the halls (beside the door). Levi is not a magician, unfortunately. Eren is just stupid.

Hope you enjoy.

* * *

He had kissed me.

And not just with a light-hearted kiss, but something with a force that sent me backing away in utter surprise. But he was persistent, and I didn't try to resist in manners that showed I really meant to back away. But I was in a state of shock, so all I could do was to gasp when I felt the tip of his tongue flicker along my lower lip, how he found his way into my mouth and straddled the backside of my teeth skillfully. That was my first kiss.

I had felt something peculiar, something I hadn't felt before – as if warmth were spreading through the insides of my stomach and unfurled there in a state of chaos. But as quick the gesture came, as quick Levi withdrew with a slick noise, and I entranced watched how he licked his lips, a satisfied smirk shaping there. I was breathless, and perhaps panting more than what was considered necessary, but I couldn't help not to. I was about to say something, but then he promptly left – and the whole room suddenly felt cold. The trace of warmth that ensued in my stomach was gone, and I stood with trembling knees in an empty and chilly bathroom.

* * *

I decided to stay inside the bathroom until the class was over, locking myself inside one of the stalls. Unrequired heat was prickling along my cheeks furiously, and I couldn't stop replaying the earlier occurrence inside my mind over and over again. It was agitating, and I remember how I was split between feeling a mix of anger and embarrassment or lust and euphoria.

When the bell rang, I waited a few minutes until I knew that the classroom was emptied for students, and I slowly found my way to my seat in the class. Luckily, the teacher had gone ahead, and so had most of the other students – even Levi, too. For that I was relieved, right until I saw Armin sitting on my table, reading a book as he was seemingly waiting for me. Of course, he asked me where I had been – telling me that I had an unreasonably long break if I only had to visit the bathroom. I was caught off guard, even though I knew that the question would arrive anyhow, so I spluttered some bad excuses and continuously scratched the nape of my neck in a timid gesture. Armin looked disbelieving, but seemed to think that it wouldn't do much good to push it further, so he just smiled and said that I probably had to do a big dump. I laughed.

* * *

I had thought that the cold feeling would go away, the chilly breeze that dawned upon me when Levi just left without any regards. But it didn't, and that night I was lying awake, thinking about how good it felt when he had kissed me, but also about how much of an impact his sudden disappearance had created in my gut. I didn't even notice how my hand had drafted further down my abdomen underneath the blankets, how heat was pooling between my legs. It was nothing, after all.

* * *

Surprisingly, I didn't see much to Levi the following days, since I didn't share many lessons with him. Furthermore, I had stopped keeping an eye on him, instead attempting to avoid him as much as possible. During Wednesday the next week where I had mathematics, my breath were instantly pulled out of my chest when I saw him entering the classroom, this time aiming for taking a seat next to me. He ended up sitting behind me. I felt like I was caught in the spotlight, as if I was under strict and tensing surveillance. But nothing happened, and I almost didn't hear it when the teacher called my name – it was my turn to hand in the recent assignment. I raised myself, papers in my hand, and handed them to the teacher at the desk.

I didn't refrain from noticing how the teacher's gaze flickered from the papers now held in her hands to my face. That was when I realized how stains of dried humidity was prominent on the paper, fracturing the fine surface, making it unruly. Something heavy molded in the pit of my stomach, and I swallowed heavily. The teacher didn't say anything though, only but smiling as she thanked me. I didn't mention that the stains were from yesterday midnight, from when I had been hunched over the papers with a pen in my hand, crying as though no one could hear me. But no one were there to hear me, after all. Hannes was probably out drinking with his familiar fellas, and I didn't dare calling up Armin or Mikasa for help with the assignment. That was one of the times where I asked myself why I tried so hard, and why I had chosen Mathematics on an A-level, where Armin could shrug it off with two hours spent completing the assignments, and I had to use most of my free time figuring out just the ways of calculating or processing the tasks.

I returned to my own table and sat down with a heavy flump, fighting the urge to give in as I dragged my hands down my face with a longing sigh. But I managed, so it was okay. It was almost time for the teachers to give us grades for each subject we attended, so of course there would be more and sturdier tasks for the students to fulfill. As I was about to regard the book in front of me, an icy feeling shriveled down my spine. I shuddered quietly. I looked over my right shoulder to find two coal black eyes perceive me through a half-lidded stare. Suddenly, my palms felt clammy and unpleasant. I turned my head in a matter of seconds and stared aimlessly into my math book, balling my hands where they rested in my lap. I had forgotten all about him, but instantly, he was just there – burning a mark into the back of my mind as I spent the rest of the lesson thinking about the encounter in the bathroom days ago.

When the lesson was done, I pulled out my shabby phone from my pocket, dialing Mikasa's number. Before I could press call, a voice chimed up behind me. That velvety soft voice, dark and enthralling in ways it shouldn't be to me. ''You have a shitty Nokia for living?'' were the words spewed. I felt my shoulders tensing up as a shape of anger boiled inside my veins, and I was just about to make a hasty comeback when I realized that the comment was not meant to be provocative, rather neutral. I realized that was just the way Levi spoke, so I turned around slowly, a tad surprised to find him towering above me with his hundred and eighty something centimeters height, looking down at me, though not in a way I would grant as scrutinizing. It was… average, a normal regard. I was mildly surprised, but still flabbergasted. I still hadn't gotten an explanation as to why he kissed me back then, nor could I figure out a reason to his actions anyway.

''It…. Yeah.'' Was all I could answer, shrugging lightly. I licked my chapped lips, eyes sent gazing along the people in the classroom that were packing their stuff. No one paid any attention to Levi and I. ''I haven't got the money to… t-to get a better one,'' I subsequently offered, furrowing my brows. I didn't know why I felt embarrassed, but I just did. I felt like I had to be better – to Levi, that is. I wanted to impress him, I realized.

''B-But I might get an iPhone when I've scraped enough money for it, so it's okay,'' I timidly added. Levi said nothing, only arched a brow. ''What's your number?'' he then asked, and I felt my limbs go cold. It was embarrassing – how I felt like an inexperienced kid all over again, how my usual confidence just bounced off me in a matter of seconds. Just because of him. ''Have you never exchanged numbers before?'' were the words that broke my mindless gazing at him, and I could feel a blush extend along my cheeks as I mumbled out a ''y-yeah of course I have, what the fuck do you think.'' My mouth got ahead of my mind again, but I still didn't move an inch out of my spot. I swore I saw Levi roll his eyes before he snatched my phone out of my hand, clicking his tongue as he found my contact list. I only managed a sullen ''hey!'', but when I tried to take my phone back, he simply held one of his hands to my chest and pushed me back onto the chair. I was tongue-tied.

It was funny, though. I was usually known for being loud and brash, usually smiling or laughing, if not seething due my impulsive temper or anything else. But things just changed whenever I got sight of Levi. I was so angry, but at the same time it felt as if something dragged me toward him – no matter how hard I struggled against it.

When I got my phone back again, Levi was gone as fast as he had appeared, and I checked my contact-list to see that he hadn't even written his number down, but only looked up my own. I hid my face in my hands and ruffled my fingers through my brown locks of hair, snarling into my palms helplessly. He was absolutely the worst.

* * *

I didn't think that when I caught sight of him during the PE classes the next day. I was on a different team, since upperclassmen and freshmen are not meddled with each other for some reason, only when the teams are to fight against one another through sport or other contests. The air outside was still warm, so I sat in the grass and watched how some of the freshmen, juniors and seniors were playing, and among them were Levi running in the front line. I was supposedly keeping up a conversation with Mikasa, but she was to realize that I was much more interested in the ongoing soccer match, and she therefore only sighed with a smile. She wasn't perceived as a girl who liked things like braids and ponytails, but she always enjoyed to play with my hair when we were just quiet or watching something. She sat behind me, sitting on her shins as she attempted to braid my short scruffs of locks. It was nice.

It didn't take me long to figure that Levi really was superior when it came to sports or anything physical. He moved swiftly, and like during the fight a long time ago in the cafeteria, he was quick and still managed to look like it was an easy task to keep up. He had long legs, and his gait was graceful, as if he knew what he was doing. I was envious, but mesmerized, somehow. It was almost as if he was better than Mikasa, which would be a hard task to exceed. Mikasa was not out there running, though, and preferred, or rather demanded that she would stay on the sideline as long as I was there. I wasn't required, since I pretty much sucked at everything. But if I practiced hard enough, I would always go somewhere, I figured. My physical state certainly wasn't bad, and still isn't. But if it was possible to master the ability to be bad at everything, that would be my potential, I think. I always had to fight harder for things that people could maintain or achieve easily, but then again – I could also become better than other people at doing certain things if I worked hard enough.

I was suddenly pulled out of my thoughts when I could hear people yell close to me – or at me, and I saw a football coming toward me in a strong pace, earth mudded around it and grass sent flying. Mikasa drew me back with a strong hand on my shoulder, aiming to shield for me, but someone else was faster. Just before it crossed the stripes of the fields and the side field, the ball was kicked away mid-air just in front of Mikasa and I. And that was Levi, standing there, panting softly, chest heaving up and down and sweat embedded in his skin as he pulled a bit in the collar of his sports shirt. ''Watch out,'' he said, face neutral as ever.

* * *

I was lying sleeplessly awake that night, this time thinking about everything about Levi that appealed me. I recalled how I could see the muscles in his legs working when he ran during soccer, and when the match was over he pulled off his shirt, cussing about it being filthy and sweat stained. How the sun had shone on his bared stomach, his pale skin – his toned abs moving as he flexed them in reflex when a brown-haired girl came poking his navel and jumped around him, energized. How his back looked when he turned around and headed for the changing rooms, his shoulders broad and muscular. I had never felt something like that for another person, not something that strong – like a never ending urge to reach out and touch, even if it was just to touch – and nothing else. My bed sheet was clamped between my legs as I was lying restlessly, shifting position and side repeatedly. I kicked it a little lower as I replaced its pressure with my hands, pushing my fingers underneath the elastic band of my briefs.

* * *

I didn't look at him during the next week, and he didn't text me either, which I had somehow expected for him to do – or wanted – somewhere in the back of my mind. My behavior was changing the slightest, Mikasa and Armin had remarked, and even Jean, whom I usually bickered to the edge with, asked where my fire had gone. I could only but shrug, since I didn't really know why or how, either. I settled myself to forget about Levi, even though he was preoccupied doing stuff in my dreams at night that aren't to be mentioned in daylight.

I was more than surprised during a Spanish lesson when I could feel my phone vibrate against my leg, and I took a glance around in the class to secure that I could sneak it up from my pocket and take a look at the message I had gotten.

'_I can see you.'_

I squinted my eyes and made a questioning grimace, licking my lips as I once more analyzed the whole classroom to see if anyone was making fun of me or pranking. The one sending the message was not in my contact-list, and I perceived the number meticulously, trying to remember if I had seen the number somewhere before. My phone buzzed again.

'_Are you feeling hot?'_

A quizzical, soft noise left my lips. What was the meaning of this?

Another buzz.

'_You're filthy, aren't you?' _

Once more, I looked around in the class like a wild-man. People were chattering back and forth, so no one noticed my odd behavior. The teacher was currently gone and wouldn't be back for a half hour or so, and the students were assigned to do some tasks all the while. I decided to text the person back.

'_what do you mean?!'_

Only a few seconds passed before I got another answer.

'_You've stopped looking at me, lately.' _

Something emerged in my throat, a sudden realization dawned upon me. I felt like I couldn't breathe properly.

'_levi?' _

Buzz.

'_I like it when you look at me. When I know that you only look at me, and not anyone else.'_

My hands felt clammy all of sudden, and a weird feeling settled in my gut. I frantically took yet another peek in the classroom, but Levi didn't have Spanish – so how-?

The messages kept coming, all the while I tried to figure out how Levi could see me – if he even could, and I also furiously tried to stop blushing, slumping a little in my seat by the window, trying to make myself as small as possible. What was going on?

In the confusion, I held my phone with my left hand and a pen in my right, tapping the pen against my lips as I wildly pondered. I put the pen between my lips due habit when I settled to actually answer his texts. I didn't really make it that far, because the next message was;

'_Do you always wrap your lips around your pen like that? I think your mouth could be for better use, though.'_

The texts kept coming.

'_I know that you're starving. I can see it when you look at me. You want to touch me, don't you?'_

I muttered softly, a mix between small gasps and a complaining whine. I wasn't supposed to react like that, I wasn't supposed to feel something muster its way in my stomach, how that chaotic feeling unfurled inside my stomach. My cheeks felt as if burning, and I hid my face into my hands for a while until Sasha asked me if I was ok. I looked up at her, and as I was about to answer, I could hear another buzz from my phone vibrating where it was lying on my desk. I choked on my words. ''I- yeah, yeah I'm ok – just tired and all,'' and I let a practiced laugh escape my lips for further reassurance. Sasha looked a little worried. ''You look kinda red, that's all. Fever?'' She pried on, and I could feel how the blush turned more and more persistent, because Sasha didn't know _why_ I was blushing.

''No, I'm okay,'' I persisted, and at last she just nodded and returned to her desk, whereas she spoke with Connie and Mina. I bit the inside of my cheek and wondered if I should continue reading the messages. Curiosity killed the cat, and so did sexual frustration, I mused to myself, sighing as if I was about to step into war.

'_Did I steal your first kiss back then?'_

Another whine left my lips, and I mussed my hands through my hair in desperation.

Buzz.

'_Seems like I did.' _

I was so frustrated, and at the same time something else – something I wasn't supposed to be. I pressed my thighs together, letting my shoulders sink as I exhaled yet another heavy breath, head tipped whilst looking at the ceiling. This time I pressed answer, though. _'no it wasn't!'. _It was first when I had pressed send that I realized how childish I sounded, and what effect it gave. I wiped my brow with my left hand, pushing the phone around on the desk with my other hand as I waited for Levi to answer. I wouldn't get any Spanish done, I realized.

'_Filthy lie. I can see it all over your face and by the way you're reacting. I bet you're a virgin, too.'_

I gawked.

He sent me another message soon after.

'_You sounded so wanton even though it was just a kiss. You're a virgin with a filthy mind, aren't you?'_

And then another.

'_You want to touch me so badly, don't you? You've tried to avoid me lately, but I can still see that your eyes are on me whenever I enter the room. Back then during soccer I could feel your eyes on me all the while. How you longingly gazed at me, even when the match was done. I won't pretend it didn't happen.'_

I pressed my knees together, too. This was really bad, and suddenly my skin felt hot all over. Again, the surveillance kneaded my nerves, but this time in a different way. It wasn't a bad feeling, but at the same time incredibly embarrassing. It took me a few seconds to realize that my hands were shaking slightly, and I kept biting the inside of my cheek. I pressed my eyes tightly shut and shook my head, trying to think of something else.

Even though I knew that I was a target submitting to its own succumbing, I kept the phone in my hand.

'_Idk what youre talking about'_ I answered quickly, mushing a sweaty palm against my cheek.

The next messages made my knees tremble, too.

'_Are you horny, Eren?' _

'_You're pressing your legs together. Can't keep it down, can you? Does it feel good – the attention I give you?'_

'_I bet you love it.' _

'_I bet you want to touch yourself right now – in the middle of the class. It won't harm anyone, as long as you're quiet. You can do it for me, can't you?' _

'_You can imagine it's me doing it to you. Dragging my hands along you. You'd be so wanton, so needy. I'd love to hear you cry out my name.' _

I couldn't keep my posture right, I felt strained – heat prickling between my legs, like it shouldn't be. I shouldn't get thrilled, I shouldn't savor every word he wrote, or even think of how it would be like to have him between my legs. I didn't notice my hand drafting down underneath the table, running along my leg, brushing against one of my clothed thighs in a slow pace, experimentally. My breath did a stutter, and I had to just empty my mind and close my eyes for a second or two.

At last, I couldn't do it. I couldn't make myself do something as such, so I analyzed the classroom yet another time, and when the time was right, I made a beeline for the exit. I went out without notice, and on my way to the bathroom I didn't notice the person standing outside the classroom, resting against the lockers. I walked fast, nearly running – and managed as far down the hall so that I could see the bathroom doors – these bathrooms were private ones without stalls. But as I walked, I noticed someone walking behind me. The sound of familiar clacks of certain shoe soles rutting against the floor. Something froze inside of me. I stopped dead in my tracks, aiming to turn around, but didn't manage so, because a prompt and strong hand settled between my shoulder blades – pushing me towards one of the toilet doors. I barged through the door as fast it went, nearly falling head first onto the floor, but was caught in the last moment. Like a rag doll, I was picked up so that I stood properly on my feet, then turned around and ruthlessly pushed against the bathroom wall. I heard a prominent click in my ears, the sound of a lock settled.

It all went too fast. ''Levi,'' I managed to stutter in a breathless whisper, realizing that yes, it was Levi I had been texting with all along. He towered above me, his eyes affirming but alluring, like a predator. He was so close, he was standing in front of me – close to me, holding one hand up to rest beside my head against the wall, and the other one grasping my left bicep, holding me in place. ''You're really a virgin, huh?'' he stated, mostly to himself, a dark chuckle sounding from his lips. I felt the rumble of his voice travelling inside my ears, coursing a feeling down my knees, making them wobble feebly. I couldn't answer – my throat felt dry, and not a word left my lips, save for peculiar noises. I looked up at him, scrutinizing the boy before me, his sharp features, his strong jaw, his pale skin – it looked so enthralling, he looked so enticing. But I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what I could allow myself to do, so I just pressed myself against the wall in an attempt to continue standing, all the while aware of how Levi's gaze darted down to eye the bulge shaped in my pants – in my school uniform pants.

I suddenly thought about the consequences of ruining my school uniform in any way, but was distracted when Levi ran his hand that were holding my bicep down my arm and to my pelvis. The air in my lung promptly left when he rubbed his palm against my clothed erection, and his other hand turned to cup my cheek, bringing me into a messy kiss. He pressed me against the wall with his weight, sliding one of his thighs in between the gap of my legs in order to get closer and to add friction. I was as if in a haze, I had no idea what was happening, but it felt good – it felt so good. There wasn't much talking here though, and I couldn't add a word, even if I was able to talk and refrain from panting. He slid his tongue between my lips – and it was warm and wet, but sent a shudder throughout my whole body. I almost had to stand on the tips of my feet to get closer, to receive properly - though he was craning a bit in his neck, too. I didn't know what to do with my hands, and they shifted from being pressed against the wall to gripping him, one on his bicep and the other on the hand that were cupping my cheek. That was also when I got a further view on how muscular Levi actually was, how thick his bicep was and how stable it felt in my grasp.

Yet again, a slick noise sounded in my ears when he withdrew himself, but only a little, and I mesmerized stared at his face when he looked down and unbuckled my belt, unzipping my pants. I didn't know what to do with my hands – so I withdrew them too and let them rest along my sides as he undid my pants, all the while panting harshly like I had been running a marathon. Something reminding of a yelp escaped my lips when he slid one of his arms around my waist, dragging me close to him as he leaned closer to me too, still not letting my back leave the wall – if only by little. I circled my arms around his neck, clinging to him as if my life depended on it. He craned himself more down to rest his face against the juncture of my neck, kissing me there, and now I had to stand on my toes.

It was so dirty – so unexpected and unlike me. A _moan_, a plea sounded from me when he propped one of his occupied hands between us, letting it slip down my briefs to grab my erection. ''_Please_,'' was all I could ramble against his temple, soft noises and moans coming one after another. He complied easily, and I had forgotten everything about my pride when he began pumping me, first slowly, then turning it into a more stable pace. I began thrusting my pelvis into his touch subconsciously, searching more friction – more of _that_ feeling. He had to hold me in place, to press his weight against me once more, his hold around my waist tightening. He planted kisses along my neck, and then to my jaw – at last one right underneath my ear, and I could hear him whisper something, but I was so close – it felt so good. Then, suddenly, he withdrew himself the slightest and forcefully pressed his mouth against mine, and the back of my head hit the wall. It was as if I had been in a haze, not really realizing what was going on before I saw the look in Levi's eyes, and this time I heard him; _''zip your fucking mouth.'' _I stopped in my tracks and froze against him, and then I heard the other noises filling the room – the noise of furious knocking on the door.


End file.
